Farewell, My Healer

        While the entire country was mourning the death of a beloved past President whose life touched many, a friend was fighting for her life at the Covid19 ward of a government-owned hospital. Sadly, their deaths were only three days apart.  My friend was my massage therapist. It was hard not to shed tears of sadness for both modern-day heroes.

   

When you have been giving your trust to a person to heal your body for as long as two decades, it is hard not to consider her a friend.  She has seen me during times when I looked my ugliest, my face grimacing in pain and my body contorted and weak. She has soothed my aches and pains with her hand, not minding my sweat or my clammy skin. She made sure that I felt better by the time the massage is finished.

 

Healing Through Massage Therapy 

In my part of the world, we respect the massage therapists. My hometown of Magarao is known for  healers called “parahilot”, a local term which is applied to those engaged in bone setting (for sprains, dislocated bones and joints) and who also practice a unique type of massage - done with bare hands - that can heal body aches and pains as well as prevent impending illnesses with colds, cough and fever symptoms. Some of them are also known to have the ability to drive away evil spirits. We are told that this healing method has existed for centuries. Until the 1990s, the locals had no knowledge about Swedish massage, Thai massage, reflexology and aromatherapy. Body aches and pains were subjected to this traditional method of healing. In some cases, the massage was done with local plants mixed with coconut oil.

 Around the year 2000, when the “parahilot” (i.e., a person who undertakes healing through “hilot”) received attention from the government with the intention of professionalizing workers in the health and wellness industry, the term “hilot” became known also as “Philippine touch therapy”.  The practicing healers as well as aspiring ones were trained on the traditional massage method, human physiology and anatomy, good housekeeping and grooming. Some of them also learned reflexology and other types of massages to cater to the needs of their clients. Client preference was also considered in looking for and in using massage oil or lotion.

 

Pregnancy and Post-Partum Therapy

           I used to avail of the “hilot” services of my healer’s parents. My healer, Emer, was not yet a confident healer when I had my last pregnancy. Her father and mother were a team when dealing with post-partum therapy. They made sure that upper and lower back muscles knotted during childbirth became unknotted and relaxed.  I don’t remember though if I had availed of their “hilot” service when I was pregnant. Some pregnant women avail of pre-childbirth massage to avoid the incidence of breech delivery.  The healer can determine whether the baby is in the proper position at that specific period during the pregnancy.

Therapy for Work-Related Pains

           Working the whole day in front of a computer, going on tiring travels to far-flung areas, walking along supermarket or grocery aisles to monitor prices, using eyes and limbs when inspecting product compliance to quality standards – these work -related activities bring about pains in the back, shoulders, neck, legs and feet. Every government worker is expected to deliver according to work targets, and most times a big number of working hours is needed to achieve favorable results.  Tiredness and sore muscles are compounded week after week, that it is a must for one to avail of massage services even just once a month.

 My friend Emer would start the massage by looking at my hands, palms upward, and she would know which parts of my body hurt the most.  For around an hour, she would do the massage, taking care not to miss the veins and muscles that brought about the pains. Before ending the session, she made sure that we check whether there was any pain left.

 

Healing Sickness Caused by Bad Spirits

           Local folk beliefs include the effect of disturbing bad spirits or getting near persons who may be affected by some invisible forces.  The patient may be experiencing severe headache and stomach pains, perspiring profusely or vomiting without any known cause.  When reasons such as food poisoning, influenza or pregnancy are doubted as possible causes, the unexplained condition will be labeled as the work of bad or naughty spirits.  Babies and toddlers will be brought to persons who have made banter with them, and that person will be asked to spit and put saliva near the navel of the child. Healing will be miraculously quick.

 Among children and older people, unexplained sickness as described earlier may also be attributed to associating with or being in the company of an unbathed person with body odor, or a hungry person who has already experienced being a victim of the bad spirit’s foul force, which is called “usog” in Tagalog and “sibang” in the local Bicol dialect. I myself experienced listlessness aside from headache, stomachache and vomiting after an encounter with several people, and I could not pinpoint the person afflicted by a bad spirit who caused the “sibang”.

 I told Emer I felt like I was about to die but could not pinpoint the cause and concluded that I had to be healed of the “sibang”. I vaguely remembered her telling me that she needed hot water because she was about to give me a towel bath or sponge bath.  She asked me to change my clothes because she would be using the one I was wearing to heal me. She submerged my used clothes in hot water, waited for it to cool just a bit to a temperature that would enable her to wring it. Then she proceeded to wipe my entire body with the hot cloth, and immediately wiped my skin with a dry towel just seconds after. After the procedure, I felt invigorated and totally healed.  I observed that she was silent during the process and I concluded that she was praying the entire time.

 

Healing Loneliness and Heartache

         Perhaps due to the healing effect of human touch, having a massage when you are lonely and broken-hearted is a good decision. During the deaths of my parents, seven years apart, I was very much affected that I felt like I was just doing the things expected of me without actually feeling alive. Emer’s healing massage revived me. 

        When I was faced with things that disappointed me, whether about work or family, or heartaches due to family problems, I found that Emer’s massage would make me feel much better and ready to face life’s challenges. I usually would act like nothing was wrong while she was doing the massage, and it becomes true at the end of the session.

 

Post-Stroke Therapy and Healing

          I had a stroke three-and-a-half years ago, called lacunar infarct by my neurologist. I felt sluggish for a couple of months after my hospitalization, although I recovered from facial and left arm paralysis within a day due to the immediate attention of my case by doctors in two hospitals (the first one referred me to the other hospital).

        Post-hospitalization therapy called for massages.  I was told it would be better to get massages twice a month, or maybe thrice a month.  It was Emer who I trusted to make me better. She knew that I needed the massages to ensure that blood flows freely in my veins without any blockage. She already had a lot of experience when it comes to patients with high blood pressure and related ailments. I welcomed those rehabilitation sessions with her.

 

Overall Wellness

 Post-retirement activities that include gardening, household chores, exercising, and some writing projects can be tiring. I experience body aches due to muscle cramps.  Massages are welcome now more than ever. During the pandemic which limited personal interactions since March 2020, I longed for monthly massages, but it was not always possible.  Since January this year, I sent SMS messages to Emer to secure an appointment because her policy was to attend to only one client or one household per day. She was conscious about health protocols, always having her face mask on and taking care to disinfect herself after the massage. I was lucky to have Emer massage me from January to March, and in May.

 Emer died last June 27.  I haven’t had a massage in June. I have lost a friend who eased my pains, and her death pained me.  She was cremated, and her ashes is yet to be buried, but her house and family is in lockdown until July 7.  Talking about her and helping her family get through this lonely and challenging time in their life is my therapy.

 Farewell, Emer, my healer.  You have used God’s gift and lived your purpose.  Go with the angels who will take you home.  Rest in peace.